I didn’t get the job.
Both the head of human resources and my volunteer manager (who was part of the interview board) said that I interviewed very well, that I was a very strong candidate, but that there were eighty applicants and only one job.
The person who got it was also an internal candidate (very kind of them to consider me an internal candidate, when I am only a volunteer). And I would wager large amounts of money I don’t have that said person doesn’t have a master’s degree, and therefore can be paid less.
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Clue for the chat that kept me from breaking into the ugly sobs at the volunteer job. (There aren’t words to describe how grateful I am, dearling.) I owe all of you who have supported me and encouraged me this far so, so much.
I feel caught in a trap. There are no real entry-level librarian jobs anymore; they all want the MLIS and two to three years’ experience, minimum, or they expect you to work part-time fifteen to twenty hours a week, evenings and weekends (and thereby putting your family responsibilities or your friends second). So you apply for the paraprofessional jobs, thinking that you can get SOME library experience that way, only to be beaten out by a candidate with a high school diploma or a bachelor’s degree because they’re less of a drain on the bottom line.
It makes you want to go work retail, seriously. Except you don’t make enough money in retail to pay your student loans, much less help with the OTHER family bills.
There’s no good answer. None at all.
And your self-worth continues to hemorrhage.